Much Comparison Essay for Much Rakeslaw. Sui VS T. to the A. to the N to the G to the uhhhn.

I'm cold. And I have a cold. Okay anyway here are the comparison paragraphs, but first, MEME:

(pssssst. don't show ms. hollaaaaand)

 



     The Sui and Tang dynasties of 581-907 China had similarities in governmental structure and social structure, while there were differences in decline and accomplishments during reign.

 

     The governmental structure of the Sui and Tang were both centered around nomadic rulers, for part of the time at least.

     Socially, both had social classes were the imperial elite were at the top and peasants were in the poor, lowest class.

 

     The Sui declined because of the tyrannical demands of the government, such as heavy taxes and the laborious work of extending the Great Wall of China. However, the Tang declined due to a rebellion that shook the ground of the economic structure. The whole dynasty collapsed.

     The Sui had a Grand Canal built and continued construction/reconstruction on the Great Wall. The Tang made great advancements in the areas of literature and art, and block printing was popularized, as well as examinations.

 





Justinian the Douche Crazy Emperor

     Justinian's wife was a woman named Theodora, who was a burlesque dancer, which involved bare-dancing. She was also a prostitute and had a very active sex life. In order to cover up this resume of hers, he promoted her to co-empress, and they ruled together. However, despite her actions, she was highly intelligent and wily.
     Justinian tightened his grip on the people in Constantinople, controlling and stamping out pagan celebrations, such as gambling, prostitution, adultery, homosexuality, rebellious Christians, and Jews. He was unpopular with people, but that didn't matter to him since he was emperor. But soon, annoyance and frustration turned to outright fury, and the Byzantines went to express their outrage in the hippodrome, a stadium for chariot racing. It had every known building technique in its construction, and it was wider than a modern-day football field. It was a sports stadium, public spectacle stadium, and imperial propaganda, with huge bets placed by fans. The hippodrome was Constantinople's architectural glory.
     In early January of 532 AD, Justinian, who was completely disliked by all of his people because of his harsh policies and heavy taxes, was overwhelmed by all of his people in the hippodrome. Theodora influenced his choice to dispatch a bunch of soldiers to the hippodrome. Then, Justinian calls all the rebels to the hippodrome, suggesting that he might offer a compromise. The gates are closed, and all the rebels are massacred by the emperor's soldiers in the hippodrome. 30,000 PEOPLE DIED OHMYGODWATWATWAT NO STAHP JUSTINIAN.
     Justinian, however, spotted an opportunity in the ashes of death. In the ruins of the heart of Constantinople, Justinian rebuilt the capital in the name of God and himself. He built a huge, impressive church called the Hagia Sophia. It had a gigantic dome that looked like it was floating, built by pendentives, and there were many elaborate monograms of the emperor and his empress. This construction solidified Constantinople as the capital of the Christian world. However, the dome collapsed, and the empire went bankrupt due to Justinian's enthusiasm to rebuild Constantinople. This ultimately caused the downfall of the empire, as emperors after Justinian ruled over a shrinking empire.

In Which Rakestraw and Duvall Go on an Adventure

Warning: This story is written in derp speak, the language of the internet, so there will be grammatical errors and spelling errors on purpoise. Viewer discretion is advised.

     OONCE upon an tiem, an Rakestraw human being and an Duvall human being met each other. They were happy humans together and they got an maerried. An Maerried humans always go on adventures togesher and so an Rakestraw human packed his bags and left his sczhool kids to go on an adventure in an Seint Martin with an Duvall human. BUt there was an HERRICAEN OHMYGOD and an Rakestraw human being fell to his knees on the an aeroplaen and yelled up to the adventure gods, "FOR AN WHYYYY?!?11!!?!!111!?" Butt suddenly, an big TOHRNADOE came and sucked up the an aeroplaen.

    and it went whoosh

                            and whoosh

                                       and whoosh

                                                   and left

                                                            and right

                                                                      and backwards

                                                                                  and forwards

                                                                      and it did

                                                                  th

                                                                       e

                                                                      TAENGOOOOOO YAYY

          And an Rakestraw human being and an Duvall human being had fun together on the tango aeroplaen untel it crachlanded on an pee-yellow brik road and landed on an old woman named miss ros-n bluum with ruby red slippers...

         "OMG!1!!11!!11!!!" RAKESTRAWS LIKE, "We've found miss ros-n blum and we crushed her under the aeroplaenenen!!1!!11!! WAT DO WE DOasdfghjkl;" and Duvall said to leave her there so an Rakestraw human being left her there, but then an hangry old man with glases and an scruffy face appeared bifore them and he was an wik-ed sandwich of the west and he was going to curse all of them with his wik-ed sandwich pouwers. but then Rakestraw was cheeky and said in his most annoying voice:

"HEY WIk-eD SaaAAaAaandwich of the WeSt!! Whats your nameeee?"

         And the wik-ed sandwich became very an flusterd and said "my name is Wight-hed" and an Rakestraw human could not stop laffing. Duvaall looked at an wik-ed sandwich and saw him becoming very more an hangry and said "LETS GO, HURRY!!! Duvall human and Rakestraw human ran off down the pee-yellow brik road while dodging the wik-ed sandwich of the west's curses. On their advenchur down the pee-yellow brik road, they fownd an statue, an robotman, an Pomeranian dogcat, and an wizard who was acshually an fake. I wishes I could say that they learnded many great an things on their jurney but sadly the statue saw an Statchue of Leeberty and ran off; an robotman became infatchuated with his own an reflecshun because he had an never seen it befor and he became an raje-ing narcissisississiitickk; the Pomeraenyun dogcat was a horrible excuse for an cowardly lion replaesmint (yes I will admit now, this is all an parody of an wizard of an oz story); and the faek wizerd was just a stooped faek wizerd who couldn't really do ANYTHIENGGGG. EXCEPT BUY AN AEROPLAEN TICKITZ FOR AN RAKESTRAW HUMAN AND AN DUVALL HUMAN SO THEY COULD GO HEOM SAEPHELY.

Oh you thought he actually bought the ticket for them? Pshhh nooooo, he could buy it, but he DIDNT because hes an FRAUWD. No instaed he bought himself an aeroplaen tickit to Hawaii (which is pronownssed Ha-way-eye-eye) and stayed there for the rest of his lief. AN Rakestraw human ended up finding Drake and his entourage in a club in Seint Mahrten, throwing out all Drake's an expensiv cloeths in their an sootcases, and him and his an wife climbd into the louie vitton luggajes and sneeked back ento the an Oonited Staets of an Amaericah via Drake's luggage.

This is an true accownt of an Rakestraw human being's and an Duvall human being's advenchur.

Just kidding theyre full growhn adoolts. They do an boring things like an tea partys with *GASPS* ACSHUAL. TEA. OMG. AND PAPERWORK. LIKE. WITH ACUTAL BIG HUMAN WORDS. *fAINTS* WOWOWOW