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Friday, October 31, 2014

Much Comparison Essay for Much Rakeslaw. Sui VS T. to the A. to the N to the G to the uhhhn.

I'm cold. And I have a cold. Okay anyway here are the comparison paragraphs, but first, MEME:

(pssssst. don't show ms. hollaaaaand)
 

     The Sui and Tang dynasties of 581-907 China had similarities in governmental structure and social structure, while there were differences in decline and accomplishments during reign.
 
     The governmental structure of the Sui and Tang were both centered around nomadic rulers, for part of the time at least.
     Socially, both had social classes were the imperial elite were at the top and peasants were in the poor, lowest class.
 
     The Sui declined because of the tyrannical demands of the government, such as heavy taxes and the laborious work of extending the Great Wall of China. However, the Tang declined due to a rebellion that shook the ground of the economic structure. The whole dynasty collapsed.
     The Sui had a Grand Canal built and continued construction/reconstruction on the Great Wall. The Tang made great advancements in the areas of literature and art, and block printing was popularized, as well as examinations.
 



Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Justinian the Douche Crazy Emperor

     Justinian's wife was a woman named Theodora, who was a burlesque dancer, which involved bare-dancing. She was also a prostitute and had a very active sex life. In order to cover up this resume of hers, he promoted her to co-empress, and they ruled together. However, despite her actions, she was highly intelligent and wily.
     Justinian tightened his grip on the people in Constantinople, controlling and stamping out pagan celebrations, such as gambling, prostitution, adultery, homosexuality, rebellious Christians, and Jews. He was unpopular with people, but that didn't matter to him since he was emperor. But soon, annoyance and frustration turned to outright fury, and the Byzantines went to express their outrage in the hippodrome, a stadium for chariot racing. It had every known building technique in its construction, and it was wider than a modern-day football field. It was a sports stadium, public spectacle stadium, and imperial propaganda, with huge bets placed by fans. The hippodrome was Constantinople's architectural glory.
     In early January of 532 AD, Justinian, who was completely disliked by all of his people because of his harsh policies and heavy taxes, was overwhelmed by all of his people in the hippodrome. Theodora influenced his choice to dispatch a bunch of soldiers to the hippodrome. Then, Justinian calls all the rebels to the hippodrome, suggesting that he might offer a compromise. The gates are closed, and all the rebels are massacred by the emperor's soldiers in the hippodrome. 30,000 PEOPLE DIED OHMYGODWATWATWAT NO STAHP JUSTINIAN.
     Justinian, however, spotted an opportunity in the ashes of death. In the ruins of the heart of Constantinople, Justinian rebuilt the capital in the name of God and himself. He built a huge, impressive church called the Hagia Sophia. It had a gigantic dome that looked like it was floating, built by pendentives, and there were many elaborate monograms of the emperor and his empress. This construction solidified Constantinople as the capital of the Christian world. However, the dome collapsed, and the empire went bankrupt due to Justinian's enthusiasm to rebuild Constantinople. This ultimately caused the downfall of the empire, as emperors after Justinian ruled over a shrinking empire.

Saturday, October 18, 2014

In Which Rakestraw and Duvall Go on an Adventure

Warning: This story is written in derp speak, the language of the internet, so there will be grammatical errors and spelling errors on purpoise. Viewer discretion is advised.

     OONCE upon an tiem, an Rakestraw human being and an Duvall human being met each other. They were happy humans together and they got an maerried. An Maerried humans always go on adventures togesher and so an Rakestraw human packed his bags and left his sczhool kids to go on an adventure in an Seint Martin with an Duvall human. BUt there was an HERRICAEN OHMYGOD and an Rakestraw human being fell to his knees on the an aeroplaen and yelled up to the adventure gods, "FOR AN WHYYYY?!?11!!?!!111!?" Butt suddenly, an big TOHRNADOE came and sucked up the an aeroplaen.

    and it went whoosh

                            and whoosh

                                       and whoosh

                                                   and left

                                                            and right

                                                                      and backwards

                                                                                  and forwards

                                                                      and it did

                                                                  th
                                                                       e
                                                                      TAENGOOOOOO YAYY

          And an Rakestraw human being and an Duvall human being had fun together on the tango aeroplaen untel it crachlanded on an pee-yellow brik road and landed on an old woman named miss ros-n bluum with ruby red slippers...
         "OMG!1!!11!!11!!!" RAKESTRAWS LIKE, "We've found miss ros-n blum and we crushed her under the aeroplaenenen!!1!!11!! WAT DO WE DOasdfghjkl;" and Duvall said to leave her there so an Rakestraw human being left her there, but then an hangry old man with glases and an scruffy face appeared bifore them and he was an wik-ed sandwich of the west and he was going to curse all of them with his wik-ed sandwich pouwers. but then Rakestraw was cheeky and said in his most annoying voice:
"HEY WIk-eD SaaAAaAaandwich of the WeSt!! Whats your nameeee?"
         And the wik-ed sandwich became very an flusterd and said "my name is Wight-hed" and an Rakestraw human could not stop laffing. Duvaall looked at an wik-ed sandwich and saw him becoming very more an hangry and said "LETS GO, HURRY!!! Duvall human and Rakestraw human ran off down the pee-yellow brik road while dodging the wik-ed sandwich of the west's curses. On their advenchur down the pee-yellow brik road, they fownd an statue, an robotman, an Pomeranian dogcat, and an wizard who was acshually an fake. I wishes I could say that they learnded many great an things on their jurney but sadly the statue saw an Statchue of Leeberty and ran off; an robotman became infatchuated with his own an reflecshun because he had an never seen it befor and he became an raje-ing narcissisississiitickk; the Pomeraenyun dogcat was a horrible excuse for an cowardly lion replaesmint (yes I will admit now, this is all an parody of an wizard of an oz story); and the faek wizerd was just a stooped faek wizerd who couldn't really do ANYTHIENGGGG. EXCEPT BUY AN AEROPLAEN TICKITZ FOR AN RAKESTRAW HUMAN AND AN DUVALL HUMAN SO THEY COULD GO HEOM SAEPHELY.

Oh you thought he actually bought the ticket for them? Pshhh nooooo, he could buy it, but he DIDNT because hes an FRAUWD. No instaed he bought himself an aeroplaen tickit to Hawaii (which is pronownssed Ha-way-eye-eye) and stayed there for the rest of his lief. AN Rakestraw human ended up finding Drake and his entourage in a club in Seint Mahrten, throwing out all Drake's an expensiv cloeths in their an sootcases, and him and his an wife climbd into the louie vitton luggajes and sneeked back ento the an Oonited Staets of an Amaericah via Drake's luggage.

This is an true accownt of an Rakestraw human being's and an Duvall human being's advenchur.

Just kidding theyre full growhn adoolts. They do an boring things like an tea partys with *GASPS* ACSHUAL. TEA. OMG. AND PAPERWORK. LIKE. WITH ACUTAL BIG HUMAN WORDS. *fAINTS* WOWOWOW

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

OMG THIS ART THO WOWOWOW SUCH ART MUCH LEONARDO (DiCaprio)

RANDOM PICTURE OF 20 CENTURY ITALIAN-BASED ART BC FUNNY
 
 
Greek Art
 (a maenad was a raving lunatic madwoman)
 
     Classical Greek art has been extremely influential in all types of art around the world. It is categorized into three periods: Archaic, Classical, and Hellenistic. A few experts add another period before Archaic, called Geometric. The golden age of art in Greece began when Greek started blossoming philosophically and when famous playwrights such as Aristophanes first showcased. The defeat of Persia, and Athens' newly established democratic government caused Athens to dominate, so it's no surprise that Athenian art had a huge influence. Magnificent temples and buildings were commissioned in hopes of gaining money for tourism. The Parthenon was one of the best ever built, and many very famous Classical Greek art were created in the Parthenon, such as the "Birth of Athena" and "A Battle Between Poseidon and Athena." In Early Geometric period, ceramic vessels were mostly used for funerary purposes. They had geometric shapes and patterns on them, as well as stick figures. Later, vessels became decorative and utilitarian. In the Archaic period, vase painting became very popular, and the technique of incision scratching was used. It was called the black figure technique, in which a black silhouette was formed out of scratching out an orange clay background. This was later replaced by red figure painting, in which a black background was painted using a 3 step complex fire process. In the Classic Period, Greek pottery became very important because they were windows into Greek life. There were many scenes of mythology, daily life, and 5th century comedians. Bronze sculptures also became very popular, and sculptors started moving away from the tradition of sculpting glorified men and women. More realistic sculptures were made, and the Contrapposto pose was used (weight on one leg, torso turned to one side, gave off a relaxed and dynamic vibe). Architecture during the Classic Period involved fancy Corinthian columns that were more decorative than any type of column before. In the Hellenistic period, unflattering features were added onto still-perfectly-proportioned sculptures. These sculptures were often used for propaganda purposes. It was during this period that the two most famous pieces of Greek art came into existence: the "Venus de Milo" and "Winged Victory."
 
 
Roman Art
 
     The most significant aspects of Roman art was the architecture, with many different types of columns as well as busts of famous people. However, there was much more to Roman art; they put an artistic touch to almost everything they made: coins, walls, sculpture, metalwork, glasswork, and jewelry. It was during this time that authors such as Cicero and Virgil created a legacy of philosophical thought and influential ideas. They drew much of their influence from the Greek style, as well as the Etruscan style (centered around funerary purposes because of firm belief in the afterlife). Clay sculpting and bronze work were specialties of Roman, and the Romans were extremely realistic with their sculptures, while still being able to make the subject look dignified despite physical shortcomings. Although Greek art did get more realistic as time went on, they still kept their sculptures idealized. This was a huge difference between the two styles. Augustus realized art could promote his position as a powerful ruler, as a representative of the gods, and he had many reliefs made of him interacting with gods and of memorable scenes of his rule. The discovery of concrete in Rome made the widespread construction of arches, domes, and vaulted ceilings possible. The Pantheon was constructed by Emperor Hadrian to honor all the gods, and it had one of the most impressive domes in Rome. The dome was constructed with more than 5,000 tons of concrete, and it had an oculus  (opening in the center of the dome) that drew attention towards the heavens and illuminated the marbled material of the Pantheon. It is known as an architectural wonder even to this day. The Colosseum, the greatest amphitheater ever built in Rome, showcases the three styles of columns: Doric, Ionic, and Corinthian. The Doric columns were the most basic, the Ionic columns had scroll designs, and the Corinthian columns were the most complex. It had trap doors, drainage doors, a retractable room, and underground passages. A lot of Roman art from later times, such as the 3rd century, has been found in the underground catacombs of Nero's palace; there many scenes of battles and punishment. Roman art began to decline with the fall of Rome the city in significance, as Constantine shifted the capital to Istanbul. More than 800 years later would influences from Roman art resurface in the Italian renaissance (whoot Leonardo DiCaprio jk)
 
 
Early Christian Art
     Early Christian art started after the death of Christ and lasted until 313 A.D. when it changed styles. Christianity spread, as Rome declined, and early Christian art emerged. There was rule in Christianity that did not allow representational imagery of the divine. All religious images were not prohibited; only the most idolatrous art forms were prohibited. There was a flexible interpretation with this idea, so Christian artists had a variety of material and ideas to work with. Christian art was highly diverse, with several different styles such as Roman, Greek, and Jewish, because the artists came from a large range of cultures and backgrounds. The first examples of Christian art were found in the Roman catacombs. Christian converts buried their dead in separate Christian catacombs after non-Christians started burying their dead instead of cremating them. Artists decorated the catacombs, providing the first glimpse of Early Christian art. Frescoes gave an impressionistic style rather than realistic, with quick brush strokes one on top of the other without blending. Many Christian symbols, such as the Good Shepherd, were painted. A famous mural of Jesus teaching his disciples is painted in one of the catacombs. Sarcophagi were covered with depictions of Biblical scenes representing salvation and traditional Roman symbols on all four sides. No crucifixion art was found however; most early Christian art was lighthearted and allegorical. Although the art was detailed and proportional, some figures had different sizes according to status. Big figures were the important ones, and they were placed towards the top. Less important figures were smaller and near the bottom. Due to intolerance of monotheism, the cross symbol was often hidden into the paintings as an anchor or Egyptian ankhs. Early Christian art is divided into two periods: before and after the Edict of Milan, which legalized Christian worship. After this legalization, there was no need for disguising Christian material in art. Many churches were built with a 5-isle design, and colorful mosaics depicted scenes of guiding the faithful to righteousness. Despite struggles and limitations during the beginning, the early Christian artists managed to express themselves and make a huge impact on art in coming years.




Saturday, September 27, 2014

Confucianism


     Confucius, known in China as Kong FuZi, was a scholar and a teacher who lived during a period of time where people were looking for new ideas to absorb. He traveled around, teaching his ideas to people. These ideas attracted many people who became his disciples, and they wrote down his teachings on education and how people functioned. These writings helped root Confucius's teachings, allowing them to stay strong and steady throughout the ages. When Confucius died, his ideologies were finally accepted by the goverment, until they were banned by the Qin. Confucianism was not brought back till the Han brought it back and combined it with Legalism. Confucianism was a big part of the people's lives, blending with some aspects of Buddhism and showing up in art and literary works, such as The Book of Songs. The decline to Confucianism began when other religions began to rise in popularity.

Main Beliefs of Confucianism:
1) There is a natural order in the universe.
2.) Each person has a place in society. 
3) Society works better if everyone fulfills their role.
4) There are five major relationships (ruler-subject, father-son, husband-wife, elder brother-younger brother, and friend-friend).
5) Education is vital for government officials to govern effectively.

Friday, September 26, 2014

5 Summaries of Different Religions bc much ridiculousness, for why asdfghjkl;

Judaism

Judaism originated far back a long time ago in the Middle East, founded by Moses. However many people say that their roots go farther back than that, all the way to Abraham. They had one covenant with God, and they spent years looking for the Promised Land. They found it and lived there in isolation, until the Romans saw, came, and conquered. Although peace was initially kept, as long as taxes were paid, the Jews soon came under persecution by the Roman government. They were exiled, and, after a failed revolt, they were banned. The religion of Christianity separated from Judaism.


 
Zoroastrianism
 
Zoroastrianism is the world's oldest known monotheistic religion. It was founded by Zoroaster, a prophet who emphasized the battle between the two forces of good and evil. The god he believed in manifested itself in the force of goodness, and Zoroaster believed the good would always win. Although the religion was moderately popularity, it dwindled as time moved on, and today there are only a few Zoroastrian
 
 
Christianity
Christianity is a religion that split from the original Judaism, the cause of the split being the birth of a baby boy name Jesus. Jesus was claimed by the Christians to be the Son of God, as well as the Messiah, or Savior. He was charismatic, and many people agreed with his ideas, causing a large following. The Jews didn't like what was going on, and they made a big fuss over it. The Romans, who feared an uprising, did what the angry people wanted, and Pilate condemned Jesus to his death. However, on the third day, some believe He resurrected. Afterwards, His apostles and disciples spread out across the earth to teach His message. Paul was the most successful apostle, reaching Gentiles and Jews. Persecution of the Christians stopped when Constantine converted to Christianity.
 
Buddhism
Buddhism was founded by a rich prince named Siddhartha Gautama who grew tired of his rich, luxurious life. The prince ran away and meditated under a tree until he reached enlightenment. He believed that the way out of suffering was to get rid of desire, and the way to live without desire was to live by the Four Noble Truths and the Eightfold Path. After his death, Buddhism spread. Two strains were established: one (Theravada Buddhism) was similar to the original teachings of the prince, and the other (Mahayana Buddhism) deified Siddhartha into a god named Buddha.
 
Hinduism
Hinduism was a Vedic religion that evolved into what it is today. It ran by the caste system, moksha, and karma. Karma was achieved by dharma, and the goal was to reach moksha and end reincarnation. It was a polytheistic religion, and the priests (Brahmins) were on top, with all the literacy powers. It is considered the oldest living religion in the world.
 




Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Spread of Buddhism

     
     The history of Buddhism in the steppes is fragmented, but it leaked into Hun culture in the 2nd century BC. Conversion to early stages of Buddhism started with the Xiongnu, but other nomadic lives were greatly affected by Buddhism. One nomadic tribe in the steppes converted to Buddhism and stopped its barbaric and rough soldierly qualities. They eventually lost their idea and dispersed into the cultures of their civilized neighbors.
     China was at a chaotic stage at the end of the Han dynasty, and the people were very open to the arrival of a new religion. Kumarajiva was a Buddhist from Central Asia who created the best translation bureau China had ever seen, spreading the religion throughout China. He translated more than 90 works into Chinese, causing more people to convert to Buddhism. Great monasteries and temples were built, and the translation of texts was worked on harder than ever. Buddhism in China reached its climax in the Sui and Tang dynasties. Buddhism left a lasting impact on Central Asian art. There was a fusion between eastern and western cultures, and the Buddha image was developed. It went through changes in style, originating with a Greek flair and altering into an Indian fashion.
     After the collapse of the Tang dynasty, Buddhists came under persecution due to the influence of Arabian invaders from the west, with many temples being destroyed, and monks and nuns being defrocked. Central Asia started converting to Islam, and Buddhism's statues and wall paintings were turned to ruin. Temples and stupas were abandoned, and they became buried under the sand. Soon, all of the Central Asian basin had been converted to Islam. People are such fickle things.