Failed Colonies in the Americas! We all LOVE FAILURE!

Fort Caroline


1.    What insights do you gain from comparing the French and Spanish accounts of the 1565 attack?

The French account was that all their men were off somewhere else, unable to fight, and they were only left with women and slaves. The Spanish account was much more positive since they won, and they also brought God into their reasoning.

2.    How do they decide what is ethically and politically acceptable in their actions and in the actions of their enemies?

The Spanish were pretty religious and quoted the Bible, saying “triumph which our Lord has granted us, and which will be the means of the holy Gospel being introduced into this country” and their purpose was to be “enlightened by the Holy Spirit.” They executed all the Lutheran captives because they believed the Lutherans to be from the devil; if captives were Roman Catholic, they were spared.

Fort Caroline and Ajacan


3.    What do the settlers see as the strengths and weaknesses of their colonies?

Famine and death were major problems, and weather crippled them greatly. A small strength was that they could convert natives.

4.    Which do they ascribe to external factors? To themselves?

External factors were weather, geography, and the natives. They, however, had a lack of food and struggled to stay alive.

5.    Evaluate the colonists' planning for the settlements. How do they adapt to unforeseen problems?

They didn’t really plan at all, and they ran out of food after awhile. Then, they couldn’t get anymore because they had been refused funding. Negotiating with Indians helped, however.

6.    How did colonists' relationships with the Indians affect their fate?

The Indians had helped the colonists with getting food and such, but when the Indians wanted something in return, the colonists had nothing. This led to the Indians having negative perspectives and opinions on the colonists.

7.    How did their perception of the natural environment affect their fate?

Their perception of the natural environment was wrong, and it surprised them a lot, making it hard for them to adjust. The winter was harsh and killed a lot of colonists.

8.    How did the leadership in each colony affect its fate?

The colonies needed strong, reliable leadership or else it would fail, resources would be wasted, and capture would be inevitable.

9.    What is critical for a successful colony?

Food, water, shelter, resources, good relationships with the natives, and survival/defense are critical.

Fort Caroline and Roanoke


10. To what extent did the colonists prepare for failure?

The colonists were pretty much like, “Failure? What’s that? Pshhh, not us.” They were wrong and so so unprepared.

11. How did the colonies end?

They were either destroyed by Indians or blended in with Indians. Either way, the colonies’ ends involved Indians.

12. How might these accounts differ from those of successful colonies?

Successful colonies further developed and were successful, with no capturing involved.

Fort Caroline, Ajacan, and Roanoke


13. What might have saved these colonies?

More abundant resources and better planning skills might have saved them.

14. What might a prospective settler learn from these documents?

They might learn to plan ahead and what to not-do.

15. How did European rivalries affect the fate of these colonies?

European rivalries caused everyone to hate each other, so there were a bunch of conflicts. They ended up conquering and destroying each other.

English Civil Wars

     The execution of King Charles I was an act committed by a small minority of the English Parliament. Most had been reluctant to do this, and it was a desperate measure. Parliament was more or less corrupted, and a majority of its members were never actually present. When the House of Commons was purged, only a small handful of people was there when the sentence was passed and an even smaller number signed the death warrant. 

     Despite this reluctance, the king was apparently ungodly and could not hold the peace within his country, according to the supporters of his execution--of which there were few. Among the supporters were Puritans, who used the Bible as guidelines for politics and religion.The Bible taught that authority should always be obeyed, but there were a number of cases in it where authority had been overthrown for being unmoral. A preacher, John Durant, launched a petition against the king, which called for justice, and when the king released a book called the Book of Sports, it received negative attention and criticism. Another important, but pretentious, person who died was major-general Thomas Harrison. He was killed during the Reformation, and had many claims that he was the equal of Christ. He even said that he'd suffered similar to Christ.

     Charles's way of ruling had resulted in a vast issue of corruption and moral decay in the government. England was a monarchical republic by the time Queen Elizabeth came to rule, and she didn't even have that much power. Instead, she was considered an "accountable office." The regicide was caused by civil war, heavy taxation, suffering and death, and a widespread desire for peace. Parliament themselves had to execute Charles I, and provided some real basis for his death. He was charged upon committing crimes against the people and England's laws, and was sentenced to death on January 4, 1649.

YAY MORE ART. LOOOOOK AT AAAALL THIS AAAARRRRT!!!!!!!!

Medieval Art

                     

                     Medieval ages spanned a long period of time, and new art genres were created. Middle East and African art traditions were morphed together, and artistic movements included Byzantine, Islamic, Viking, Romanesque, and Gothic among others. Older pagan ways of life were rejected due to widespread Christianity. Medieval art reflected this, and it saw the collapse of the Western Roman Empire. Due to the Bible’s rule against idolatry, artists were careful to make sure their art wasn’t 3-dimensional, keeping it one and two-dimensional, unlike the previously popular Roman busts. Churches featured mosaics and frescoes.  Islamic art reflected the Muslim’s ideas of Heaven as a natural paradise, with many depictions of floral patterns, tessellations, and geometric forms. The Vikings specialized in woodwork and metalwork, with animal pictures, and their art was portable due to their migratory style of living. Their golden brooches were famous, the most famous being a golden eagle in abstract style made up of gold and jewels. Charlemagne had many golden crosses made, and he had pictures of human forms made, which sort of challenged the idea of idolatry and art. Illuminated manuscripts were very popular with monks. Their covers were covered in jewels and made of precious metals, and elaborately illustrated. Celtic artists made the best illuminated manuscripts, and rich families owned their own illuminated manuscripts. Celtic style was influenced by geometrically patterned art from Egypt.  Cathedrals were made bigger than they had ever been before, as well as the relief work inside of them. Artists experimented and sought to separate themselves from the old Byzantine style, and from this, the Renaissance was born.

 Gothic Art

                    

                     Cathedrals and stained glass windows were the first Gothic characteristics of medieval art. Gothic art emerged out of France and was referred to as the “new fashion.” Some had opinions on Gothic art being inferior to the more classic art of earlier styles, but despite these criticisms, Gothic architecture spread. It was mainly based around Romanesque architecture. The main difference between the two is that Romanesque architecture was wider and lower, as well as having separate, low-lighted areas. Gothic architecture mainly featured very tall structures, ribbed vaults, and flying buttresses. Architecture grew taller and taller as time went on, as artists and sculptors sought to outdo past cathedrals. In 1284, the Beauvais Cathedral actually collapsed from being so tall, but it was reconstructed to the same dimensions, with more flying buttresses added to provide more support. A French cathedral called Saint Denis served as a burial place for kings from the 10^th to the 18^th century. The Cathedral of Notre Dame, which took more than a hundred years, has two spires and hundreds of sculpted figures standing on ledges. The pillars were transformed into saintly figures. Frescoes in churches gave hints to what paintings were like, but illuminated manuscripts give the most information. Almost all of these were religious, and they were extremely costly. However, after the discovery of cheaper printing methods, illuminated manuscripts became more lightweight and accessible. The Book of Hours was an important book, with religious illustrations and historical imagery. It also had features of Gothic illuminated manuscripts. Gothic art was also highly symbolic; Christ was mostly metaphorically depicted as a lamb.

Renaissance Art

                     Art was reborn in the Renaissance period and it religiously expanded. There were many innovative thinkers and artists that continue to influence the world today. It was a change from the medieval ideas of obedience and authority, focusing on innovation and knowledge. Although it was mostly based in Italy, it drew from many cultural influences from around the world. Linear perspective, realistic scenery, and depth were highly focused on, with the mix of art, math, and science together, which helped with the perfecting of perspective in art. The Medici helped the Renaissance spread even faster than it already was. Leonardo Da Vinci’s most famous painting is the Last Supper, which portrays Jesus’ last meal on earth with his disciples. Michelangelo was like Leonardo, but he focused on the arts, designing exquisite architecture and making one of the most famous paintings of all time. The Sistine Chapel took Michelangelo four years to finish. His painting is featured on the ceiling, with “The Creation” in the center point of the chapel ceiling. Raphael, Michelangelo’s rival painter, decorated walls in the Catholic pope’s library, and a painting on the wall, the “School of Athens,” showed Raphael’s specialty in linear perspective, with realistic depictions of philosophers and buildings, as well as statues. The Renaissance radically changed the world with its arts and philosophies, exploring styles and virtuosity. 

HEAD CHOP *BAM BAM* *ROLL* *SPLAT* YAAAAYYYY

                Mesoamerica was the area where the Olmecs, the Mayans, and the Aztecs lived, which is present day Mexico and Central America. Mesoamerica’s varying topography meant different, independently developed cultures, as well as different resources in the highlands, which had obsidian, which could be used for trade, and the coast, which had sea shells and feathers which were also used for trade. Mountains forced tribes to migrate from the north to the south. Goods, however, were difficult to move in Mesoamerica due to the fact that there are no navigable rivers.

                The Olmecs are credited with impressive monumental sculptures, ceremonial complexes, the first pyramids, which were central areas of ceremony, and influential sports, most notably ball games. The Olmec calendar system was also significant. There were two main calendars: the solar calendar, which included 365 days; and the lunar calendar, which included 260 days. These two coincided ever 53 years.

                The Mayan pyramids differed from the Olmec pyramids in that the Mayan pyramids were very steep and narrow. Significant amounts of Mayan history were lost because the writing was undecipherable and the ruins were overgrown with plant life.

                Aztecs were unique from other Mesoamericans in that they were the most successful expansionists, and they collected tribute from conquered people. This tribute system was used to get food and other resources from the conquered people to strengthen the capital. The Aztecs also practiced bloodletting. The Aztecs believed that the world had been created and destroyed four times before their existence. They believed that in the dark world, a god jumped into fire to create the world. However, he required sacrifice before he would make the sun and moon rise. Sacrifice of women differed from sacrifice of men. Women were not taken to the pyramid; rather, they danced at the bottom and were then beheaded. Men were taken to the pyramid and killed, with lots of blood and gory stuffzzzzzz.

Much Comparison Essay for Much Rakeslaw. Sui VS T. to the A. to the N to the G to the uhhhn.

I'm cold. And I have a cold. Okay anyway here are the comparison paragraphs, but first, MEME:

(pssssst. don't show ms. hollaaaaand)

 



     The Sui and Tang dynasties of 581-907 China had similarities in governmental structure and social structure, while there were differences in decline and accomplishments during reign.

 

     The governmental structure of the Sui and Tang were both centered around nomadic rulers, for part of the time at least.

     Socially, both had social classes were the imperial elite were at the top and peasants were in the poor, lowest class.

 

     The Sui declined because of the tyrannical demands of the government, such as heavy taxes and the laborious work of extending the Great Wall of China. However, the Tang declined due to a rebellion that shook the ground of the economic structure. The whole dynasty collapsed.

     The Sui had a Grand Canal built and continued construction/reconstruction on the Great Wall. The Tang made great advancements in the areas of literature and art, and block printing was popularized, as well as examinations.

 





Justinian the Douche Crazy Emperor

     Justinian's wife was a woman named Theodora, who was a burlesque dancer, which involved bare-dancing. She was also a prostitute and had a very active sex life. In order to cover up this resume of hers, he promoted her to co-empress, and they ruled together. However, despite her actions, she was highly intelligent and wily.
     Justinian tightened his grip on the people in Constantinople, controlling and stamping out pagan celebrations, such as gambling, prostitution, adultery, homosexuality, rebellious Christians, and Jews. He was unpopular with people, but that didn't matter to him since he was emperor. But soon, annoyance and frustration turned to outright fury, and the Byzantines went to express their outrage in the hippodrome, a stadium for chariot racing. It had every known building technique in its construction, and it was wider than a modern-day football field. It was a sports stadium, public spectacle stadium, and imperial propaganda, with huge bets placed by fans. The hippodrome was Constantinople's architectural glory.
     In early January of 532 AD, Justinian, who was completely disliked by all of his people because of his harsh policies and heavy taxes, was overwhelmed by all of his people in the hippodrome. Theodora influenced his choice to dispatch a bunch of soldiers to the hippodrome. Then, Justinian calls all the rebels to the hippodrome, suggesting that he might offer a compromise. The gates are closed, and all the rebels are massacred by the emperor's soldiers in the hippodrome. 30,000 PEOPLE DIED OHMYGODWATWATWAT NO STAHP JUSTINIAN.
     Justinian, however, spotted an opportunity in the ashes of death. In the ruins of the heart of Constantinople, Justinian rebuilt the capital in the name of God and himself. He built a huge, impressive church called the Hagia Sophia. It had a gigantic dome that looked like it was floating, built by pendentives, and there were many elaborate monograms of the emperor and his empress. This construction solidified Constantinople as the capital of the Christian world. However, the dome collapsed, and the empire went bankrupt due to Justinian's enthusiasm to rebuild Constantinople. This ultimately caused the downfall of the empire, as emperors after Justinian ruled over a shrinking empire.

In Which Rakestraw and Duvall Go on an Adventure

Warning: This story is written in derp speak, the language of the internet, so there will be grammatical errors and spelling errors on purpoise. Viewer discretion is advised.

     OONCE upon an tiem, an Rakestraw human being and an Duvall human being met each other. They were happy humans together and they got an maerried. An Maerried humans always go on adventures togesher and so an Rakestraw human packed his bags and left his sczhool kids to go on an adventure in an Seint Martin with an Duvall human. BUt there was an HERRICAEN OHMYGOD and an Rakestraw human being fell to his knees on the an aeroplaen and yelled up to the adventure gods, "FOR AN WHYYYY?!?11!!?!!111!?" Butt suddenly, an big TOHRNADOE came and sucked up the an aeroplaen.

    and it went whoosh

                            and whoosh

                                       and whoosh

                                                   and left

                                                            and right

                                                                      and backwards

                                                                                  and forwards

                                                                      and it did

                                                                  th

                                                                       e

                                                                      TAENGOOOOOO YAYY

          And an Rakestraw human being and an Duvall human being had fun together on the tango aeroplaen untel it crachlanded on an pee-yellow brik road and landed on an old woman named miss ros-n bluum with ruby red slippers...

         "OMG!1!!11!!11!!!" RAKESTRAWS LIKE, "We've found miss ros-n blum and we crushed her under the aeroplaenenen!!1!!11!! WAT DO WE DOasdfghjkl;" and Duvall said to leave her there so an Rakestraw human being left her there, but then an hangry old man with glases and an scruffy face appeared bifore them and he was an wik-ed sandwich of the west and he was going to curse all of them with his wik-ed sandwich pouwers. but then Rakestraw was cheeky and said in his most annoying voice:

"HEY WIk-eD SaaAAaAaandwich of the WeSt!! Whats your nameeee?"

         And the wik-ed sandwich became very an flusterd and said "my name is Wight-hed" and an Rakestraw human could not stop laffing. Duvaall looked at an wik-ed sandwich and saw him becoming very more an hangry and said "LETS GO, HURRY!!! Duvall human and Rakestraw human ran off down the pee-yellow brik road while dodging the wik-ed sandwich of the west's curses. On their advenchur down the pee-yellow brik road, they fownd an statue, an robotman, an Pomeranian dogcat, and an wizard who was acshually an fake. I wishes I could say that they learnded many great an things on their jurney but sadly the statue saw an Statchue of Leeberty and ran off; an robotman became infatchuated with his own an reflecshun because he had an never seen it befor and he became an raje-ing narcissisississiitickk; the Pomeraenyun dogcat was a horrible excuse for an cowardly lion replaesmint (yes I will admit now, this is all an parody of an wizard of an oz story); and the faek wizerd was just a stooped faek wizerd who couldn't really do ANYTHIENGGGG. EXCEPT BUY AN AEROPLAEN TICKITZ FOR AN RAKESTRAW HUMAN AND AN DUVALL HUMAN SO THEY COULD GO HEOM SAEPHELY.

Oh you thought he actually bought the ticket for them? Pshhh nooooo, he could buy it, but he DIDNT because hes an FRAUWD. No instaed he bought himself an aeroplaen tickit to Hawaii (which is pronownssed Ha-way-eye-eye) and stayed there for the rest of his lief. AN Rakestraw human ended up finding Drake and his entourage in a club in Seint Mahrten, throwing out all Drake's an expensiv cloeths in their an sootcases, and him and his an wife climbd into the louie vitton luggajes and sneeked back ento the an Oonited Staets of an Amaericah via Drake's luggage.

This is an true accownt of an Rakestraw human being's and an Duvall human being's advenchur.

Just kidding theyre full growhn adoolts. They do an boring things like an tea partys with *GASPS* ACSHUAL. TEA. OMG. AND PAPERWORK. LIKE. WITH ACUTAL BIG HUMAN WORDS. *fAINTS* WOWOWOW